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Brief Update: Plans Changed, Still Here, Just with Less Time

Posted by Lady Cyn Aptic on August 26, 2016 at 11:10 PM Comments comments (1)

This is very brief and just to inform as I have plans later tonight.  But I am still here in LA and taking sessions.  I decided to wait until I can transfer to a 4 year college to move out of state and take advantage of CA's *fucking excellent* fee waivers... plus the college I attend is excellent academically speaking.  Anyhow - yay, you have a little more time with me!


The problem is, I am pursuing an astrophysics major, and I have barely any time.  It would not be a problem if people were very to the point, had an idea of what they wanted in a session, booked it, showed up, and I delivered on the experience.  I don't have time for the typical lengthy interaction where I am answering questions and essentially attempting to convince you to book with me, or you're not certain, and etc... and multiple phone conversations end up lasting an hour or more, or emails go back and forth, before we even meet.  And sometimes a session doesn't happen, or sometimes I spend over an hour getting ready and a client flakes - that is time I could have spent studying.  


So, incentive:

I am lowering my rate to $125/hr for clients who *don't* do this.  Let me know what you're interested in, we both ask any questions we might have, set a time for the session, you show up on time, we have a blast. Keep it simple.   Bam.  Save $75.  


I mainly charge $200/hr because of everything prior to actually doing the session, which is what I am actually interested in.  If the booking process can be kept simple, I'm eternally grateful.  I mainly have fun *doing* versus *talking about doing*.


If it is endless emails and calls, then the rate stays the same.  Sorry (not sorry) to be a bitch, but my time is valuable, and I want to show appreciation to those who appreciate it.


I have to make some adjustments on this site also... I don't have anyone to do double sessions with anymore, besides the above I cannot afford to do a couple discounts mentioned, and some other details that need to be updated.  


Oh, just for note - it's incall only unless you call me an Uber or Lyft (safe enough, there's a record).  




On Going Back to School, Availability, and Moving this Summer

Posted by Lady Cyn Aptic on February 7, 2016 at 4:15 AM Comments comments (0)

Hi everyone!  Long time no post.  I've been incredibly busy since I went back to school full time last Fall, and things don't seem to be slowing down.  I will be getting a brief break between Winter and Spring semester February 11th to the 15th, with another load of full time math and science classes to tackle starting on the 16th.  Between chemistry, physics, astronomy and calculus  - and potentially a part time on campus job - I will not have much time to do one on one sessions... but I'm going to try! 


As some of you know, I'm moving out of CA after Spring semester is over (I'll be gone by July) - I got a fantastic non-BDSM job opportunity, will continue school there, and I've been wanting to leave Los Angeles for a long while now... so if you've been wanting to see me, this is your absolute last chance.  I doubt I'll come back, even for a visit - I've very much over CA.  I will also more than likely shut down my pro-Domme related accounts then.  So... I'm going to try and get in as many one on one sessions as I can to give you a final shot to experience a live session with me.  Scheduling might be difficult for me, so I'm going to give you these basic guidelines:


For live sessions:


I will not be available at all on Monday or Wednesday, Tuesday and Thursday I'm available if your session will end before 5:30pm, I will generally be available on Fridays and weekends.


You must book ahead.


I'll be studying between classes, and I won't have time to bullshit over the phone without compensation - especially if I'm cramming for a test.  For your BEST chance of reaching me to set up a session, call my Niteflirt line:


1-800-863-5478


ext: 9625353


$1.97/minute


This will show me that you're serious.  I expect Niteflirt to be my main form of extra income... I'm planning on having it turned to "taking calls" when I'm not in class, on campus, or sleeping.  But I'm also applying for part time jobs, which might limit my time more.  It's best to check my listings to see if I am "taking calls" at the time.  If you email or call me directly, no guaruntee that I'll answer promptly... I barely check my Domme email anymore and if I'm in class my phone is turned to silent.  If you've seen me before, you can text or request my normal email address for a quick reply. 


For phone sessions, a full listing of my Niteflirt ads can be seen here: https://www.niteflirt.com/MistressOPhoenix#live


I will also be putting up more content such as specialized prerecordings.  I will not have the time to do and edit photoshoots or videos.


As the time for moving grows closer, I will be selling some of my more specialized equipment - I've already sold a few items, but there is plenty more.  I'll post a list when the time comes.


I hope I get to hear from a few of you lurkers before I fall away from the pro scene.  Happy beatings!

 




My Opinion of 50 Shades of Grey (The movie)

Posted by Lady Cyn Aptic on February 28, 2015 at 1:35 PM Comments comments (0)

Just watched 50 Shades of Grey, wow that was tame... nothing not consensual there, she explicitly agreed or literally asked for everything clearly, and kinda made me feel bad about myself from the way she was reacting. I've done far worse and enjoyed far worse done to me with no remorse or guilt... also bad acting and dialog sounded like a 5th grader wrote it. She's a pussy who shames and judges him for things she agreed to, and he's a poorly written character who makes it seem like in order for someone to want to engage in BDSM they have to have serious mental issues or an abusive childhood (not true at all). BDSM should be liberating... kinda made me cringe to watch that. Also boring sex scenes... ice and feathers and rope bondage... with the *worst* thing happening (which she asked for) being 6 smacks in the ass with a belt? Please.


This was 50 kinds of cheesy romance.


The people labeling this as abusive or domestic violence are out of their minds. He tells her what he's into, he gives her safewords (uses the same ones as me, actually), he negotiates the contract, respects her hard limits, repeatedly asks her if things are okay and if she enjoyed them, and the only part of the movie that could be considered "abusive" she asks him for ("show me the worst" "are you sure" "yes")... then acts like he beat her bloody with a knout (it's a Russian whip used for corporal punishment, look it up, it's nifty) versus a few tame belt smacks.  I was rolling my eyes when she was crying (and yet she did not safeword...).


So my main problems with this movie are as follows:


1. Anastasia obviously does not research BDSM or D/s relationships, and has no interest but goes along anyway... she finds it repulsive and assumes there is something wrong with someone and they need to be fixed if they consensually enjoy giving ot receiving pain.  She treats Christian as though his interests are crazy.  Because all relationships must fit into a teenage girl's ideal and that's what everyone wants, right?


2. Christian is crazy/does have emotional and control issues and it seems as though he "doesn't really want to be this way".  This perpetuates the notion that anyone into BDSM is broken.  BDSM should be liberating and fun, not something to "recover from".  This probably bothered me the most.


3. The BDSM represented was incredibly tame, this was most a cheesy "I can change him" kind of love story.  If *this* was controversial to the vanilla world I don't wanna know how the vanilla world would react  to my sex life... it was mostly like an unpleasant window into the mind of a vanilla person's perception of BDSM.  And it sucked.


The end.  I won't be watching the sequels.  


 

What I am Willing to Barter/Trade for This Year:

Posted by Lady Cyn Aptic on February 4, 2015 at 9:20 PM Comments comments (0)

People are always asking me if I'm willing to do sessions for trade or barter... usually the answer is no, but for those who might be able to provide some of these things or services, I will *consider* it.


*Driving Lessons - I'm getting my permit in the next couple of weeks and, while I have had a couple of offers, I'm not certain if they are reliable.  Essentially I would like to get as much practice as possible with an experienced driver and get my licence by early March at the latest... so this would need to be someone with time to teach at least a couple times per week.  The exchange for session time would be based on the average rates charged for driving lessons in Los Angeles.  


*Tattoos - I have several hours of work I want to get done, including a couple of cover ups, some bigger pieces, and a partial neck/skull piece.  *Must* be an experienced tattooer with a portfolio, not a scratcher (though I have seen some beautiful work from people who can't get licensed due to citizenship requirements - I'm okay with that, as long as I can see a portfolio of your work).  The exchange for session time would be based on the tattooer's regular rates per hour.  Hopefully, this would be a long term arrangement.  Experience with piercing, scarification, and other body mods a big plus.  If you can also craft hooks for flesh hook suspensions and pulls, that's an even bigger plus.


*A Used Car - Obviously this would be for after I obtain my licence, and ideally by June.  I will be looking for something with good MPG, automatic, and preferably a Honda or something with similarly easy to replace parts.  I would strongly prefer a hybrid or a station wagon or van/something with room in the back, but it's not an absolute preference.  Exchange rates for sessions will be based on estimated blue book value.  I'm not looking for anything estimated at over 5k.


*Household Repairs - Essentially handyman services from fixing a faulty oven or heater to basic plumbing to repairing water damage on hardwood floors to teaching basic carpentry - bonus if you have a workshop.  This one would be more difficult to estimate as far as a fair exchange, but I'm willing to play it by ear/as needed.  


*Hunting, Wilderness Survival, Rifle Shooting Lessons, and More - I've shot guns plenty, but have little experience with rifles; I've made shelters while camping from scratch, but never a fire; I've been fishing, but never hunting... etc.  I have a strong interest in wilderness survival but I haven't had as much opportunity to get out there as I would like and want more hands on experience.  Some of the things I either want to learn or want more experience in are archery including fashioning a bow/arrows, hunting (respectfully, using all parts of the animal), trapping, spear fishing, knife making, knife throwing, plant/tree identification and uses, starting a fire from scratch,building more elaborate elevated shelters, using a rifle, etc. - someone with military experience would probably be ideal for this.  Exchange can be negotiated.  


*Serious training in Krav Maga, Kempo, Ninjitsu, or Ju Jitsu - A long time desire of mine has been to seriously pursue training in one of these martial arts.  I'm looking for someone who either runs a class or can give private lessons once a week and who knows how to work around my knee injury (torn meniscus, easy to reinjure).  This one is something both parties would need to commit to, as I would prefer to work with the same person for an extended period of time versus briefly as I have in the past.  


*Skydiving, Hang Gliding, Scuba Diving, Spelunking, Etc. - If the nature/survival thing didn't tip you off, I'm all about adventure with some danger.  I might be willing to trade session time for an exciting experience.  Make me an offer and we'll go from there.     


*Camping Equipment, Tools, Swords, Antique Medical Tools, Ancient Artifacts, Firearms, Etc. - Told you I was weird... I might be willing to trade services at value for high quality camping/fishing equipment, high quality tools (for cutting/sewing leather, building/crafting, plumbing, etc.), unusual or antique knives and swords (especially Japanese or Native American), antique medical tools (like trepanation drills, metal syringes, etc.), ancient artifacts (especially Egyptian or Sumerian - certificate of authenticity required), rare or first editions of some books, and legal firearms.  I have a variety of interests... this is probably the most eclectic category and only here on a whim, but worth mentioning.  Who knows who has an old human skull, high quality katana, or a first edition of the Egyptian Book of the Dead I might want lying around?  :P 


Besides this, my likely answer will be no.  The most common offers I get are for webpage design (I can design and code my own webpages, I've done it from scratch before and am doing it for my friend's business later this year, it's just easier for me to use a service for my Domme site and not invest the extra time for maintenance - hence not interested), video editing, photography, massage, and housework.  I'm not interested in any of these things for trade, sorry.  If you have something to offer not on this list that it seems I might be interested in, go ahead and email me... but make it good.  ;)      


All this being said, 99.9% of the time I will prefer a monetary donation.

This is why experienced Dommes create so many hurdles and prefer you jump them:

Posted by Lady Cyn Aptic on February 4, 2015 at 10:55 AM Comments comments (0)

I wrote this a few days ago while working on my new FAQ page, and it seemed like it would make a decent and informative blog entry...  I'm counting this as my one elaborate/thorough entry per month for January, as per my resolutions.  :P


Doing sessions is incredibly fun - when it happens. It's fulfilling and I love developing the dynamic and seeing how various people tick, bodies and minds react, etc.... having a long term interaction and helping people more deeply explore, or sometimes even just having a great one time session with someone compatible passing through town. This is the only reason I am still "in the game" - when it happens, it's great. That's what many want, and I am happy to provide. But it's not all whips and roses.  There are reasons even the best Dommes can seem wary and exhausted, especially during the booking process.


I've had many regular clients who, after speaking to me or hanging out with me for a while not believe some of the things they witness when it comes to the crappy part of this job.  I can't blame them... they couldn't possibly fathom someone not showing up for an appointment or wanting to make our lives miserable, while some simply don't understand why we make them jump through so many hoops to book an appointment or fail to jump for joy at the chance to see them when they are still potentials and unknown to us.  Perhaps they have a "normal" job and have never  thought about the underbelly of ours.  But witnessing some of these things happening, or even hearing some of our horror stories seems to be elucidating - so I thought I would say something about it...

 

This is why experienced Dommes create so many hurdles and prefer you jump them:


 

People try to dick you around, 50-70% of new clients do not show up to confirmed appointments, most of which require extensive coordination and preparation (this is why I implemented a deposit for new clients, and this is why most Dommes do not allow blocked numbers - in 13 years not one person who booked with a blocked number has followed through).


 

People call everyday expecting you to drop everything and order them around or be explicit/dominant on the phone with no intention of setting an appointment, and they assume we are not aware of this (because we're Domme-bots with nothing else to think about and should be super excited about expending mental energy to fulfill the desires of a stranger who has no intention of booking a session - and if we don't, we're "fake").


 

On that note - people are rude and insulting because we charge for a service; people are also rude and insulting when we don't provide a service they want (aka escorting - ironically the most common response to telling a prospective client that you don't offer sex is being called a whore...smh).


 

People share their most intimate issues in explicit detail, and if we sound bored or uncomfortable or need to hang up we're selfish and cold (because, despite not knowing the person we are talking to, we are responsible for their emotional well being... even when they call us in the middle of grocery shopping).


 

People haggle (most who try to haggle also never show up, it's a game... I have no problem negotiating rates after someone sees me for the first time and proves themselves reliable - but if you're insistent about bargaining the first time you're contacting me, it's a red flag).


 

Sometimes (surprisingly) people call repeatedly with the same specific story thinking we won't recognize it (special shout out to haircut fetish crossdresser, elaborate kidnapping guy, and adamant atheist blasphemy fetish guy - along with virtually everyone who has asked for racial humiliation). I honestly have no idea what these people get out of the repetitive behavior or why they think we don't recognize them. They are not like -


 

The people calling who are obviously and blatantly masturbating and attempting to get us to say key words or phrases so they can get off. Again, it's not like we can't tell what you're up to or that you're not going to book an appointment if we're worth our salt. Or -


 

The kids who prank call us. These can actually be funny as hell and usually end in epic embarassing fails fo the callers (special shout out to the group of college kids where one insisted they wanted me to pee in a glass after inserting one plucked out pubic hair, that one was creative, you guys must have been drunk off your asses). Funny as it is, still a waste of time - though this one can be genuiney amusing.


 

And, generally, we are dehumanized and judged. I'm certain many of you feel the same way about your jobs. Yet there is this view that insulting or harassing someone in our line of work is more than acceptable (and I'm certain more than one person reading is guilty of this) - I've gotten death and rape threats, sometimes for simply saying that I won't fuck someone for money after negotiating a session (wounded ego? I make it pretty clear that's not going to happen) - sometimes because the person perceived my interests to be perverse in their moral compass (though everything I'm interested in is between consenting adults, and none of their business honestly). This should not be reason for that kind of response, yet those who I'm certain are all around perceived to be decent human beings, some with families, respectable jobs, who tip their waitresses and banter with their bartenders are the same people who - believing nobody sees them or cares - take out their fucked up frustrations on us - those they consider the trash of society or morally depraved, consciously or not. Because that's okay and not at all hypocritical. The logic is strong with egoists and fanatics. ^_^


 

Some of my friends in the business enjoy bringing these people down or messing with them, I find it funny and stupid unless someone takes the extra step and targets me/attempts to harm me (which has happened, and was yet another strike against continuing pro-Domming - but I'm still here.). Beyond this, it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. It's just a grand litany of chaos I could do without.  


If scheduling a session were simple and guarunteed on my end I would be thrilled and taking several appointments per day.  Unfortunately it's not.  So I, and I believe most of us, greatly appreciate our clients who do make the effort to jump the hurdles, realize we are people who don't simply exist for their amusement, and make our live a little bit easier.  


To those who have done this, thank you.  

 

Blog Reset 2015

Posted by Lady Cyn Aptic on February 4, 2015 at 10:15 AM Comments comments (0)

So, one of my resolutions was to reset my blog this year and post at least one thorough entry per month.  Clearly I missed my self imposed January deadline, but better late than never!  


I'll kick it off with a few announcements - 


*I am opening a new Clips4Sale store which should be active by mid-February.  My old store is still up but I will no longer be uploading new content.  After it gets rolling, I will be filming 2 new clips each week.  This means I will have a need for video slaves again on occasion, though much of the content will be solo.  And it also means I will be taking requests for clips again.  What would you guys like to see?  I'll be keeping a list of requests.


*I changed around some of my rates and policies based on my experience over the past year.  If you are a first time client of mine I now absolutely require a 10% deposit for your first session unless you have verifiable references or an active Fetlife profile.  Rates are also firm at $100/30 minutes and $200/hr for your first session... after that, no worries about placing deposits and my rates become far more flexible.  There have been too many flakes in the past year, and that can be draining and exhausting - I'm not doing this to be a cunt, simply to protect myself and avoid wasting my time.  On that note...


*There is a new FAQ page on the site that new clients are required to read or at least skim through to get my contact information (but the more you read the more potential rewards you'll get).  So if you are a new client or a potential new client, just click on FAQ at the top of the page and give it a quick glance.


*I'm currently working on a few projects/endeavors and will be back in school in the Fall, I'm also going to be in Oregon for the better part of June and attempting to get a couple tech certifications before then... my availability will be varied.     


Generally it looks like it's going to be a busy year ths year, and I have a lot to get done before June.    


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